If you’ve ever felt like you’re alone in this world, and you don’t know how to be happy, this post is for you.
I stumbled upon this question – how to live a happy life alone. It made me sad thinking that some people sit on their couch alone. They think “If only I had people to talk to, and have fun with“, and don’t enjoy their lives.
Life is more fun with people around
Maybe you are one of them. Maybe you don’t have a partner, or you live in a new town where you don’t have any friends yet. Or you have no confidence or drive to meet new people, you’re too shy to open up and build a real connection. You may even think that other people find you weird, and that you’ll alienate people by being yourself. So you stay at home, you feel alone, and feel like you can’t be happy this way.
And there may be some truth in it, you know. Maybe life tend to be more fun with people around. People who you like and with whom you can enjoy your time. And there will actually be an interview episode soon about the power of sisterhood. Subscribe to my podcast if you haven’t already to make sure you don’t miss it.
You can be happy alone
But for now, let’s talk about how you can enjoy your life when you have nobody to enjoy it with – or when it seems like there is nobody there (sometimes we overlook the obvious, the friends who are there).
I firmly believe that you can enjoy your life even when you don’t have a significant other, and your bestie lives 2.000 miles away. I know that because I was single for a very, very long time until I found my fiancé. Plus, all of my friends lived in different parts all over the country. And you know how it is: If you can’t spend time together, friendships loose their depth. Except for very rare friendships that actually stay the same no matter how often you see or talk to each other.
But the thing is: While I was single and lived in a town where I had no friends yet, I found a way to live a happy life alone. But how?
Your happiness depends on you
The first thing I want to mention here is that you can’t rely on anyone else to make you happy. You probably already know that. Your happiness comes from you and you alone. If you rely on someone else to make your life happy, your happiness leaves as soon as they leave, and that is not sustainable.
I might go out on a limb here, and say that happiness actually begins when you’re alone. You need to find a way to cultivate happiness within yourself first. Then you can extend it to life with other people. But it has to start when it’s just “me, myself, and I“.
How to live a happy life alone
So, the question is: How do you do that? And that all comes down to self-care, and creating joyful moments throughout the day. Which you can totally do all by yourself. When you take care of yourself first, you don’t only make yourself feel good. You also build up confidence to be you, to go out, meet new people if that is what you want.
When it comes to self-care, there is a previous episode of the Sparkly You Podcast that you can listen to. It’s an interview with Clare Foale, and we talk about how you can bring self-care into your life, what self-care actually is, and what self-care can do for you. It brings you balance, and joy, and makes you feel good. And that is the first step to living a happy life.
Create a happiness menu
What binds into this beautifully, is creating joyful moments throughout the day. I like to call them happy islands or sparkle breaks. And this is how you do it:
Make list of all of the things that make you happy – from food, to music, to specific activities, or places, or colors, or whatever puts a smile on your face. Then check how you can bring those things into your life. It can be small things. Singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite songs. Indulging in a piece of dark chocolate with caramalyzed almonds in it (or is that just me?).
Create several happy islands in your day, and they will add up, and raise the count of happy moments in your day.
I actually spend a whole week in the High On Life course on this topic to make sure that it sticks. It is so very important to have a happiness menu, and sparkle breaks in the day.
Alone-time can bring you joy
What’s important in the first step is that you think about things that you can do alone without feeling alone. If you love going to the movies with friends, watching a funny movie all by yourself may not necessarily be the best first step. It may, however, contribute to your happy life once you’ve realized that you are indeed great company.
I, personally, love strolling through town by myself, hitting my favorite café and bookstore – things I never would have done alone a few years ago because I would have felt alone and sad. Now it fills me with great joy taking that time for myself to unwind and be inspired.
When you fill up your happy cup enough, you may even notice that you really appreciate the quality time that you get to spend with yourself while you’re not at work, or doing housework, or whatever it is that keeps you busy throughout the day. And then, when someone else enters your life, you may find yourself craving more of that alone time that you used to hate so much 😉
Make yourself incredibly happy
Look at it this way: You can make yourself so incredibly happy all by yourself, that you don’t need anybody else. And when somebody else does want to contribute to your happiness, welcome them with open arms.
But if they leave, rest assured that you will be fine too – because your happiness does not rely on someone else giving it to you.
Now let me know in the comments: What is on your happiness menu? What can you do during your sparkle breaks?