You know how people keep telling you that you need to focus on the positive things? I mean, it is true that what you focus on increases. So if you want to have more positive things in your life, you need to focus on the good stuff, not the bad. Makes total sense to me.

What do you want – and what not?

However – yes, you guessed it, there is a but – I think that from time to time you need to focus on the things in your life that don’t feel good. Not to obsess about them, not to make you feel bad, but to become clearer on what you want. Or, more precisely, what you don’t want. Because knowing what you don’t want in your life is just as important as knowing what you want.

And what happy people would never do is spending a lot of time with the things that doesn’t feel good to them. So, it is important to know what they are.

What kinks your hose?

I am re-reading Peta Kelly’s Earth is Hiring right now, and she speaks about how we are connected to all of the things, and all of the knowledge of the universe through a hose that flows from the universe through us. And when we do things that don’t align with our values and our beliefs, we kink our hose, and the flow of goodness from above dies down.

I love this image. And it speaks directly to what I’m trying to say here. You need to know what sucks the energy from you, what makes you feel icky – in other word: what kinks your hose – in order to avoid it.

Things I never do in order to be happy

These are a few of the things that don’t feel good to me:

  • going to bed past 11pm
  • getting up before 7am
  • having a lot of stuff lying around that I don’t need
  • forgetting to move my body
  • straying from my healthy lifestyle
  • scrolling Instagram mindlessly
  • getting groceries from a certain store, and more.

Don’t want to bore you with my whole list.

Things happy people never do

When I first did this, I was like “Whoa, that’s a lot of things to dislike.“ But then I thought: “No, this is good. I am aware of the things that drain my energy, so now I can avoid them as best as possible.“

I’d love to suggest the same thing to you. Make a list of all of the things (and people) that drain your energy, and that don’t make you feel good. You may not be able to avoid all of them (co-workers, for example), but you might be able to eliminate some of them, and be more mindful about how you deal with the situations that you can’t avoid.

And why don’t you share some of the items on your list in the comments?